Sharing a Piece of My Heart With You

I decided I'd like to share something personal that's been going on in my life. I've been blogging for eight months now, but it has truly opened my eyes and my heart to so many new people and friends, and I know I have expressed my love and gratitude for all of my blog friends before in a post, but I don't feel like I need to be guarded anymore. I feel like I can share with you, and you'll be supportive and caring, and lovely, like you always are. I want to share bits and pieces of my life with you, because blogging has become such an important part of my life. Up until now, I've done strictly reviews, no memes, nothing else, and for the most part, I intend to keep it that way, so I hope you don't mind me sharing a story tonight. I know this blog is about books, and it will remain that way, but this post is for those of you that have become my friends. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I just got out of a relationship about three weeks ago. He ended things. We were together for three and a half years. We've broken up before, and have always gotten back together, but this time is for good. It is over. It is done. Of course I felt a sense of loss; how do you go from having someone in your life for that long to not having them there at all? We spent a lot of time growing up together. I was 17 and a senior in high school when we met; now, I'll be entering my senior year of college. I do feel a huge sense of loss: loss of a significant person in my life, but mostly a loss of so much time. I just feel like I threw so much time away. I no longer feel anything about him, except maybe sorry for him, because he is a spiteful person. I am happy and ready to move on. We were becoming emotionally detached from each other before the breakup, so while it hurt, it could have been worse. Of course I will sometimes look back on happier, early times and maybe feel a bit nostalgic or sad, but the truth is, I am a better person without him. We weren't right or good for each other.

I don't know why I am writing this. I think maybe I am proud for being strong. I haven't let it get to me, like I usually do. I've taken back control of my life and have been doing things that make ME happy, like reading a lot and spending tons of time with my friends. He brought me down a lot. I won't deny, there were plenty of good times and laughs, but there were also times that he put me down and made me feel bad, or just brought me down with him. He wouldn't even read my damn blog! We were not a good combination and we just didn't work. I refuse to ever go back to that or to ever be a fool again. I feel more free and am ready to move on from this stage in my life. I know I am a stronger person now.

All I can say is... I hope the next man in my life loves books as much as I do. :)










Here are some pictures woohoo! The first one is over three years old, but it just captures the relationship my two best friends and I have with the laughter and silliness. I am the nerd in the middle. The second one is of me and four of my friends from last summer. I am the one wearing the obnoxious yellow work uniform.