
Jumpstart the World
Copyright - Catherine Ryan Hyde
I ordered a chai latte, and Frank ordered a cappuccino, and we shuffled around silently waiting for them to come up. Then we sat at a tiny round table on uncomfortably high stools.
I blew on my chai latte and felt the hot steam come up into my face. “I guess it would have been better if I’d caught it earlier.”
Frank set down his cup and sighed.
“Elle, that cat was voted least likely to ever get out of that pound on his own four paws. Do you know what the chances were that he’d end up with someone who would shout, ‘Money is no object!’ on his behalf?” He waved his arm in the air as if he were waving a fistful of hundreds around.
I smiled in spite of myself. “I didn’t do that, did I?” I imitated the money-waving gesture. I hated to think I was becoming that much like my mother.
“No, I threw that in to try to make you laugh.”
I looked at the expression on his face, kind of sympathetic but sad, and I did laugh, just a little. For just a minute I got out of myself and laughed. It had been a bad day. Still was. It felt good to laugh. Even for just a minute.
Then I said, “What are his chances?” And braced myself hard for the answer.
“Better than fifty-fifty. I think. But maybe not much better. Look. Elle. There are things we can do something about and things we can’t. You figured out he was in trouble. You got him in the box. At great personal sacrifice, I might add. You got him to a good vet. Now comes the part that isn’t up to you. Same with the vet. She’ll do everything she knows to help him get better. But then it’s out of her hands. The trick is to do what you can do and then let go. Just go home and wait. I know you’ll still worry about it, but it really doesn’t help to stress. Hurts you and doesn’t help him. I’ll let you know if anything changes. You can call me. Or come by if you want.”
“Okay,” I said.
But I wasn’t sure how one goes about not stressing. Every time I got good advice, it felt like there was some kind of instruction sheet missing.
“Not that it’s any of my business,” I said. I could feel the pulse of my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I felt a little dizzy. “Whose top surgery are you raising money for?”
I tried to swallow but it didn’t quite work. I’d forgotten how.
It’s like I had to ask sooner or later. It’s like it was just going to sit there on the table like this big pink dinosaur that nobody wanted to admit was sitting there. Until I finally just took a deep breath and asked.
But I already knew. I swear I already knew. The noises of the other patrons seemed far away, like they do in the minutes before you fall asleep. I felt empty and dead inside from what I already knew.
“Mine,” he said.
Then I just sat there and drank most of the rest of my drink and said nothing. And thought nothing. Everything just seemed heavy and dark, and I was there in the middle of it. Thinking nothing. But no matter how hard I thought nothing, I couldn’t get my stomach to stop tingling.
“Why do I care about that cat?” I asked. After quite a long silence. It kind of surprised me. Who knew I was about to ask that?
“Well. He’s your cat.”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t care about me. I’ve never even touched him. Except this morning. Which was hardly a cuddly experience.” I ran my hand over the sea of big Band-aids. It hurt. “And here I am dying inside because he might not be okay.” And for other reasons I wasn’t ready to go back to. “Why?”
Frank blew foam around on top of his cappuccino. “Human nature,” he said. “To get attached to living things. Especially if we’ve made ourselves responsible for them. You just look into an animal’s eyes and decide he’ll be yours, already there’s a bond. You feel for Toto because he needs so much help. I know it’s making you hurt right now, but let me tell you, that’s a part of human nature we would not want to lose. Boy, you look at how bad things are now…just think where we’d be if that empathy ever got lost.”
Before he left to go back to his party, I thanked him for being so much help. I thought that was good, that I did that.
“No problem,” he said. Then he said, “I’m sorry if you’re having trouble with this.”
“Oh. Right,” I said. Wishing we hadn’t switched topics again. “Well. I guess that’s not really your problem. Is it?”
“Not really,” he said. “But you’re my friend. So I’m sorry if this is weird for you.”
Awkward silence.
“Okay. Thanks.”
“I’ll call you if I hear anything about the cat.”
“Thanks.”
*GIVEAWAY* - I have one brand new copy of this fabulous book to give away to one lucky U.S. follower! Please just leave a comment with your e-mail address if you're interested in entering, and I will draw the winner on November 10th!
Also, be sure to check out the other book excerpts and new scenes Catherine wrote for the tour!
http://thebookscout.blogspot.com/ (New scene 2)
Thanks for the giveaway.
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Hi Steph,
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Just Books
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