I never really thought I’d be the kind of girl who would talk about or have “mommy friends.” The whole idea seemed kind of corny to me (I’m not really sure why). I always just assumed I’d need and rely on my family and pre-motherhood friends and that would be that. And for the most part, this has been true. Jerry, Caleb, and I have been showered with love and endless support from all of those people. Family has been at our beck and call, friends who don’t have children yet have loved Caleb more than I thought possible and we are so, so lucky. But, ya know… mommy friends have become a part of my life now and I’m lucky for that, too.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have remained incredibly close with my two best girlfriends since middle school. When I think of what a true, honest-to-goodness friend is, I think of Taylor and Katie. While distance temporarily separated us in college, we fell right back into place when we were all home again. When I became the first of my group of friends to get pregnant though, I had those typical worries: will we still relate to one another? Will we still have time to spend together? Will they think it’s weird? Will they still want to hang out with me plus baby now? Truth is, I had nothing to fear. These are the girls who went diaper shopping with me last winter in preparation for the baby. These are the girls who visited a newborn Caleb and fell in love. These are “my people” and my life is better for having them in it.
I love my best friends and my book club girls, but I also have “mom friends” now, and I don’t care how silly the whole idea of it is.
A lot of my mom friends are also coincidentally blog friends. I exchanged emails with several other new moms who I’d met via blogging both before and after Caleb was born, sharing tips, stories, and comfort. I’ve been thrilled to follow along with their babies, and I’m excited to have them follow along with Caleb, too. When I was experiencing very severe baby blues, I reached out to another mom who had mentioned the same on her blog and we began to text regularly. Before Caleb was born, I exchanged long weekly emails with a blogger who had just had her own baby and was preparing me for what was to come. Later, I became that new mom “expert” as I emailed back and forth with others who were expecting because I remembered how nice it felt to have that sense of camaraderie, that reassurance that all would be well. I’ve shared a special bond with all of these women because we all became moms at around the same time.
I also made a close mom friend with a girl that I went to high school with. We were merely acquaintances before our babies came along, but now she’s become a close friend and confidant. When we get together, we talk about things that new moms talk about: diapers, new skills, formula, the experience of giving birth. Our babies have known each other since they were tiny and will hopefully be friends for years to come.
The whole thing about mom friends is that they’ve been there. They’ve been through the same struggles. They’ve experienced the same joys. When you tell them how you’re feeling, they won’t think you’re crazy. When they see your house and it looks like a baby store, they won’t think you’re a slob; they’ll laugh because their house looks just the same. Heck, even their Instagram is bursting to the seams with baby pictures, just like yours (and they’ll “like” every one of those pictures too!). It is so important to support each other as moms. I know there are so many different parenting styles and beliefs out there, and it is so easy to pass judgement on those who parent differently than we do… but let’s just not. The support I’ve received from fellow new moms in the last year has been astounding and life-changing. I love my new mommy tribe… they’ve made me feel like I’m not alone out there, drifting through motherhood and struggling alone. They are struggling, too. But they’re also feeling this huge immense baby love too, and so they get it. They get ME.
To all my “mommy friends,” especially those of you who I’ve met through blogging (and I hope you all know who you are!)… all I can really say is thank you.
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