You can plan and plan and plan, but that doesn’t guarantee a thing.
Especially when it comes to babies.
January 20th — our due date — came and went, with no fanfare, like any other normal day. While I understand that due dates really don’t mean much, and that most babies don’t arrive on or by them (especially first babies), we still anxiously counted down the days on our calendar until it arrived. The big day! And then nothing. Nada. Baby not budging. Sorry, Mom and Dad!
For months, we prepared his nursery, finally perfecting and completing it weeks ago, JUST in time, we thought.
I lovingly washed, folded, and sorted his clothes.
All of our baby “things” and toys and blankets and books are organized, put away, and waiting for his arrival.
My bags are packed, and most of our hospital necessities are stashed in the car, and have been since at least a week ago. The list of the last few items we will need to throw in a bag has been on my coffee table for weeks now, staring us in the face, final items waiting to be checked off.
His carseat has been inspected and installed. The inside of my car has been washed.
Meals are in the freezer. We’ve gone on small grocery shopping trips so as not to let any food spoil “in case we’re at the hospital.” We’ve done a lot things “just in case,” and have made no plans to be set in stone.
I’ve done a lot of things for the “last time” before the baby arrives, which have turned out not to be the last time at all. A night with friends. Loads of laundry. One last, frantic house cleaning before crashing on the couch with back pain. These “last things” have occurred numerous times, not really the last at all.
We are ready… but he is not.
As of yesterday’s appointment, when I was 40 weeks and 1 day, no progress had been made. I am still not dilated. His head still hasn’t dropped. He is, it would seem, NOT ready, as much as his daddy and I are. We go back on Tuesday for a 41 week appointment to include another non-stress test and an ultrasound. This will give us a size estimate as well as check his amniotic fluid levels. If all looks well, the doctor believes he will induce us on Thursday or Friday of next week. If there is any cause for concern, it will be earlier… Tuesday or Wednesday. As of right now, the doctor believes he will weigh in the high 8 pound range, but did mention that if the baby ends up being 10 pounds (HA!) or more, he will schedule a c-section.
Of course, things could change in an instant. Our beloved little boy could decide he’s ready at any moment. We certainly are.
And if not, at least we know we will finally be holding him in eight days at the most.
As a (very) soon to be mom, I have already had to learn the hard lesson of letting things go, of going with the flow, of letting things happen as they’re supposed to happen, on their own time. I’ve learned that you can make all the plans in the world, but they might not always be the right ones. And that’s okay. Caleb’s got his own plan. He knows when he’ll be here, even if we don’t, and that’s the only plan that matters.
See you soon, little man.
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