CONFESSIONS OF A NEW MAMA

I’m quickly learning that there are SO many wonderful things about motherhood. For starters is the crazy big love you feel for this tiny little person. There’s also their smile; I swear, it’s the most magnificent thing you have ever seen… again and again. I know I’m bound to share all of these amazing things over the years, but for today, I’m going to share some of my new mom confessions. Things are about to get real… and real gross!

• Sometimes, when Caleb spits up and there’s no burp cloth nearby, I’ll wipe it with the sleeve of my shirt… and still leave it on until bedtime. Whoops!
• I feel like a total rock star whenever I finish any household chore and have to text Jerry immediately to brag about my accomplishment of doing the dishes. Seriously… this stuff is hard to get done when you have a baby who won’t let you put him down!
• I consult Dr. Google WAY too much and search every little symptom he seemingly has and completely freak myself out.
• I hate putting long sleeve shirts and onesies on him. So difficult to get his stiff arms into and through long sleeves! Short sleeves and button up tops are MUCH easier when your child is working on his robot dance moves.
• Jeans and basically any other pants that are NOT sweatpants are also an annoyance… but they look adorable so he’ll usually wear them for a couple of hours before I throw in the towel and change him into something easier.
• Sometimes I get sick of fighting with him while buttoning up his sleepers so I’ll just leave a few buttons undone. Zipper sleepers are so much easier!
• I get baby poop and pee on my hands on a daily basis now and it hardly even grosses me out these days. It’s just baby poop, right? I mean, my dog ate it for crying out loud! No seriously… he did. He busted open a diaper. The tell tale yellow poo was all around the white hair near his mouth. That was a real treat to deal with.
• I ordered over 500 prints of the baby before he even reached one month old. Can’t. Stop. Taking. Pictures.
• Speaking of pictures, I always promised myself I wouldn’t be that crazy mom who bombarded everyone on Facebook and Instagram with baby pictures all the time. Oops, kind of failed that one, though I do refrain and only post every few days if I can. Similarly, I promised myself I would still blog about things other than the baby. I’m working on this, though it’s hard. I still manage a few non-baby posts here and there!
• I only managed to nurse him for about two weeks. After two weeks of agonizing pain, I threw in the towel on that one. However, because I am crazy stubborn and determined, I took up pumping instead and now he gets about half formula, half breastmilk. Now, I spend approximately two hours a day total hooked up that machine, feeling like a cow. Fun, I tell you!
• Yesterday, I didn’t get to the gym until noon and didn’t shower until 5:30. Most days I’m not
  
  THAT far behind, but things do take forever when you have a baby. It’s going to get even harder when I go back to work next month!
• I haven’t finished a single book since he was born. Most days, I manage to get a few pages read but that’s about it. It’s so much easier to watch TV with a baby. Sad but true. I’m looking forward to being able to read more again when he’s a little bit older and therefore less needy. For now, we cuddle up and watch TV because he is not a fan of being put down… ever. That’s another challenge, but for now I’m just enjoying my baby being little since it won’t last long. This fella is now in 3-6 month clothes. What?!
• Some days, I regret starting him out in the Rock and Play to sleep and wish we had just started him in the crib. It’s going to be a complete pain to transition him in there, as evidenced by him refusing to sleep in there for more than 10 minutes during daytime naps.
• I feel pretty bad about my body and the weight I gained, and am so glad I was able to start working out again last week. I’ve been very good about getting to the gym and watching what I eat and can’t wait to get out of these sweatpants and maternity clothes because I refuse to buy anything bigger! I WILL be back in my pre-pregnancy clothes, the sooner the better. I have to remind myself constantly that I carried my baby and gave birth to him with this body, so I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but it’s pretty difficult some days.
• Baby blues are real and they are scary. I was not prepared for them AT ALL and was a complete wreck for the first two weeks. I remember thinking and saying on more than one occasion, “I can’t do this.” If you’re not a mother yet but are going to be, PLEASE read up about the blues and prepare yourselves. Most importantly, understand they are very common and you will get through it. I didn’t realize how common they were until everyone else told me they had them too.
• Going along with the baby blues, I was basically terrified to be left alone with him for the first couple of weeks because I was scared I wouldn’t know what to do or how to take care of him. I would get  serious anxiety whenever he cried. I still do on occasion, but for the most part I can handle it much better these days.
• Sometimes, I get choked up just thinking about the future and my baby growing up. Just the other night I was wondering if he would ever get bullied when he’s older and I almost cried just thinking about it. I know, I’m kind of irrational. What can you do? Being a mom can make you crazy sometimes, but I wouldn’t change a thing!